HackingUniversity - Hacks . Tricks . How-To's

25 November 2012

Funny, Cool and Hilarious Facebook Status Updates for 2013

Facebooking, status updating has now been a trend in this modern age and everyone needs some cool things to do on Facebook. The one thing anyone can come up with are these below mentioned hilarious status updates for Facebook that will surely bring some awesome likes to your status. Well I have even posted many more posts like these earlier some are really awesome like 101 funny and hilarious status updates, and even for the Indian crowd some punjabi twisted updates.


Well these are some more and this post will get updated everytime I find some more updates to post, so you can bookmark this post for future fun.

  • If you can’t be a good example, be a terrible warning.
  • The worst time part of the night is when I am sober enough to remember the number of the new girl I just met and drunk enough to call!
  • Just created a Facebook event called "get out of my house now" and invited my in-laws because I'm out of ideas.
  • I hate the moon mainly because it's something I have to share with Nicki Minaj.
  • Scientist determine that adults who kiss their parents on the mouth are “creepy as hell.”
  • Time-saving strategy: Unbuckle your seat belt a few seconds before you stop your car and watch your schedule open right up
  • Is that a phone in your back pocket? Cause that ass is calling me.
  • The greatest moment of my life was probably when I was born. But sadly I'll never remember it..
  • A cop stopped me & said "license please" so I offered him a donut & said "I donut have one" & we laughed & laughed & I'm arrested.
  • When I Got The Key To Success Someone Changed The Lock:-P
  • A Relationship Status That Says 'It's Complicated' Just Means 'In A Relationship With A Psycho'
  • Your Intelligence Is My Common Sense.
  • She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! Damn Mosquito.
  • Light Travels Faster Than Sound. This Is Why Some People Appear Bright Until You Hear Them Speak.
  • Speak Only When You Feel Your Words Are Better Than Silence!.
  • If You Ever Get Caught Sleeping On The Job... Slowly Raise Your Head And Say 'In Jesus' Name, Amen'
  • I Wait Online All Day To See Your Name Pop Up. Because Even If It's A 5 Min Conversation It Makes Me Smile.
  • Is Proud Of Herself. She Finished A Jigsaw Puzzle In 6 Months And The Box Said 2-4 Years.
  • Before Conjugation, You Help Each Other Get Naked. After Conjugation, You Only Dress Yourself.
  • Just When The Mind Found The Answers, The Heart Changed The Question..
  • Never Laugh At Your Wife's Choices. You're One Of Them!
  • Youtube, Twitter And Facebook Are Combining And Will Now Be Called Youtwitface.
  • The Awkward Moment When God Asks Beyoncé “Who Runs The World?”
  • Just Because You Have The Right To Do Something Does Not Make It The Right Thing To Do.
  • Lord I Want To Be Worthy Of Your Mercy. With Your Grace I Know I Can Be. Amen.
  • Facebook Is Like Jail. Sit And Waste Time, Write On Walls, And Get Poked By People You Don't Know.
  • I Am Nobody. Nobody's Perfect. Therefore, I Am Perfect
  • Have You Noticed That The ' Lol ' Symbol Looks Like A Drowning Guy? I Bet He's Not Laughing Out Loud
  • I Don't Want To Hurt You!!!!!......It Is On The List Though!
  • My Door Is Always Open, So You're Free To Leave Any Time.
  • I Dream Of A Perfect World Where Chickens Can Cross The Road Without Their Motives Being Questioned.
  • Insert Coin To View My Status Message
  • If Money Growed On Trees Then Girls Wouldn't Mind Dating Monkeys......:D:d:d:d
  • When People Talk About Right And Left, They're Not Talking About Right And Wrong
  • Boy: Hey Dad I Got A Girlfriend Dad: Good Job Son! Girl: Hey Daddy I Got A Boyfriend! Dad: *Loads Sh
  • Don't Follow Me, I'm Lost Too
  • Scratch Here ###### To See Today's Status!
  • Girls Are Like Roads...The More Curves They Have More Dangerous They Are! ;P
  • Is Not 'Staying Out Of Trouble' And Not 'Keeping Busy'
  • I'd Rather Check My Facebook Than Face My Checkbook
  • I Forgot To Pretend To Water My Fake Flowers
  • Money Is Directly Proportional To Happiness...
  • Excuse Me, If I Go Straight This Way Will I Find Your Heart?
  • Behind Every Successful Woman There Is A Man Checking Her Ass Out!!
  • My Attitude :- A Girl Proposed To Me. And I Said: ! ! 'Sorry, I Won`T Accept Your Proposal, But I Appreciate Your Selection...'!...........
  • I Wonder If A Receptionist At A Sperm Bank Has Ever Used The Phrase: 'Thanks For Coming.'
  • Look At My Face-> :)Does It Really Look Like I Care Who You With!!
  • The Last Time, I Was Inside Of A Woman. It Was When I Was Inside The Statue Of Liberty.
  • My Computer Beat Me At Chess...But It Was No Match For Me At Wrestling!
  • Women Are Like Cats; They Never Come When You Call, But Come Right Away As Soon As You Ignore Them.
  • Shut Up! I Wear Heals Bigger Then You
  • Bitch Plizzzzzz,! My Money Is An Endangered Species!!! I Aint Giving You Shit
  • Have You Ever Noticed That All Women Behave A Lot Like Gremlings? They Are All Nice & Cute, But If Feed Them & Make Them Wet They Get Crazy
  • If A Cop Stops Me Nd Says Papers........... Nd I Say Scissors,,, Do I Win?????
  • Parents Always Teach Their Child's Not To Talk 2 Strangers,,,But D Funny Thing Iz Dis--- Dey Themselves Support Arrange Marriages :-(
  • Coins Always Make Sound But Currency Notes Are Always Silent. So When Your Value Increase Keep Yourself Calm And Silent..............@$#!$#

So now you better stay awake, as this shit will soon get updated ! Muahaha.